Bowel and bladder. No not the latest watering hole 😉in town but a human preoccupation. Almost every conversation about us goes something like this: “Oh how absolutely adorable!” “Thank you.” “What are their names?” “This one is Z —” “Are they potty trained?” Well, our bowels are their own masters. That’s because for us what they do is the most healthy thing on earth, and we really do not give a centipede’s behind (my, we are having pun today😆 ) who watches us go about our business.
We do understand cleanliness. ‘Clean’ was our birth mother’s second – and her tongue’s only – name. To let you into a secret, it does not take us time to learn which our ‘designated’ area is. In the process of learning about said ‘designated’ areas, there are ‘accidents’.
But we have a confession to make. Not all accidents are accidents. Some are quasi-accidents, others non-accidents. For we know somebody who said all the world is a stage and one should stir – er – waters (😜tell me we haven’t outdone ourselves today) once in a while with healthy provocation – 🙈 or 😈. Raised pitch, wagging fingers, knitted eyebrows and total drama – truly, the poo-pee hitting the fan makes our folks play a role any bard would be ama-a-z-zed by. Place yourself in some 💩-pee screenplays. Bet you would do the same.
Scenario 1: the cleaning lady studiously manoeuvres the broom and dirt to avoid you. It is your birthright to hit the dirt running, nose first. Plus, it is your dirt, from your house. If you can leave an indelible mark to show ownership of your house, cheating you of its dirt deserves a deposit of indignation.
Scenario 2: you are involved in a cliffhanger of a tug-of-war over splitting the rubber ball into two. Surely you cannot lose momentum of dedication to a cause by taking time out to walk to said ‘designated’ area?
Scenario 3: you really love your folks. You want to, sometimes, tell them they are ‘boss’. And you do in the most natural way you can! Can’t believe we just said this, but then we can be softies at times.
Scenario 4: Mom is preoccupied or busy. It’s just been a perfunctory pat and absent-minded comments. And then she locks you out! You deserve better; you need to get her attention, don’t you? So you do the one thing that is guaranteed to work.
Scenario 5: Big Sis gets friends over and you love company. You can’t get enough of their cuddles, and they can’t get enough of you. And then you pay the ultimate compliment to this chemistry with a little display of excitement.
Would love to stay and chat with you about these, but we have to go ……