Mom is rather well trained. She is a creature of habit, so knowing exactly where and when to sleep without a care in the world and the right moment to dig some dirt outside or interesting stuff from the kitchen dustbin before getting caught is elementary. With Big Sis we are less certain: it all depends on which alarm she wakes up at. If she wakes up at the second one and dives into the washroom, we can surmise she is going to college (whatever that is). If she wakes up at any alarm after the second and hollers for Mom, she may still be going to college.
Today, it was freaky. Big Sis was predictable. Mom wasn’t. We think it had something to do with the non-arrival of the cook. Some bug had got to the cook. Bug, pah! Humans are daft. Whoever heard of getting caught by a bug? All it takes to get rid of it is a few snaps of the jaw and a bit of running around in circles. Anyway, Mom was completely off schedule today. We barely slept or sat, stretched out at doors between rooms. Our eyes would put a dragonfly’s to shame, what with all that rotation for 360 degree vision, in Herculean efforts to keep Mom in line of vision lest she should be up to no good.
The thing is Mom is sneaky. She camouflages a lot of her intentions. But no matter how many red herrings she throws our way, our noses are too sharp not to smell the fishy fish. How we figure out things is, as a famous person once said (or did not), “Elementary, my dear Watson.” 🔎Clues form the backbone of good detective work🔍
- The footwear. Being at ground level as compared to a 5’8″ walking palm tree is a distinct advantage at times. Pink rubber, chewed at the toe (by us, who else?) is safe. Brown rubber, chewed at the heel (you got it) is Perk Up Ears Time. Mom is going outdoors to play with the mud (we do take after her) of our little poo corner, so all we have to do is trot in front to lead her to the hand rake kept expressly for the purpose and the little recycled spray bottle with the nose-crinkling bleach and detergent dilute for the smell (she says).
The dangerous ones are the black leather strappy ones. They click alarmingly, hurt like crazy if they happen to fall on your paw, and most importantly, they mean lonely time for us. They are ‘outside’ shoes. We can sniff and bite at them as much as we want but they will take Mom out. It is only sometimes that they smarten up to mean an outing for us too. But we never know when, unless 4 (below) has happened, so we learnt pretty soon it is not worthwhile to hide them in case it works against our interest.
- The bag. The moth-eaten shoulder sling for phone and key is great. It means walk time for us. Black leather is ominous👜☠ . The zip goes zzzzzipp or unzzzip, the wallet is checked and some stuff put in or thrown out. We know it is going to take our place in Mom’s arms.
- The music. 🎵🎵This is pleasant sound that gives Mom much joy, as also Big Sis and Big Bro for whom it is occasion for ‘purana zamana’ and ‘goldie oldie’ jokes. This gives us joy too because we know that once it is switched on Mom is going nowhere. Switched off, it is an Open One Eye And Look prompt. The first time Mom left it on and went out, we innocent lambs who had just understood its significance were duped; our jaws dropped when we heard the clink outside (refer 4 below). It didn’t take us long to cotton on to MomCon: now 🎵🎵 is safe only if not contradicted by other clues.
- The clink and the jingle. The clink inside the house signals Face and Tail Droop To Look Woebegone. That same clink from outside the door is the clapper for Mad Welcome Jig because it opens the door to let in one of the Folks. Inside, if the clink is accompanied by a jingle, it is Shake Your Behind and Pull Each Other Down To Reach First Race time. The jingle is of the collar and it spells w-a-l-k or d-r-i-v-e!
As we said Mom is not totally above board. Of late she has been on the phone a lot (never a good sign for us), and has placed two thingies on wheels in the room. These are huge. Huge enough to be our kennels.
We are a little apprehensive, not only because their kin figure in our hierarchy of scares as we confessed earlier (https://poochpickles.blog/2018/09/22/shiver-me-timbers) but also because we are not sure what they mean. It won’t take us long to figure out, sharp nosed that we are. We have our hunches, but this time they ain’t making us feel good …😕😕