Who is WHO? Of late, the news we read and watch over shoulders has been about WHO, something called the PMO, and POTUS. We really don’t need to waste our energy on figuring out what makes humans think they are great. Anyone can coin what humans grandly call acronyms. Take our WATBID – What’s The Big Deal? – for instance. After all, what has to be, is. And what is, is.

It makes us wonder when humans, including our Folks 🙄, go ooh and aah, and comment profoundly on what we do. If one of us has an itchy eye, it soon becomes obvious that the Folks will slink to A Particular Table and slither stealthily to the poor one, hiding – or so they think – a little bottle in their palms to almost poke the eye out with an annoying liquid. Of course we’ll take cover the moment we see a step towards That Particular Table. And for good measure, the other one of us without the itchy eye will also duck and dodge. What’s there for Folks to groan, giggle, remark? WATBID?

Similarly, it won’t take long for the one of us with a painful ear to notice the coincidence of the pain followed by a foul-tasting little button-like thing. Even when the Folks smash it into powder. Suddenly bits of the egg or the chicken in our meal start tasting and smelling funny. So, why should our Folks stand there sweating in suspense while we sniff, nose around our bowl, gobble everything but the morsels that we know have been corrupted? Why should they get cranky when that one of us with the painful ear immediately works her tummy into regurgitating what is sometimes sneakily forced in? Why their wails at the throwing up? WATBID?

We are not stupid. We recognise the bucket, mug, soap, shampoo for our indoor baths and the little stool Mom sits on to bathe us. Even when Mom just fiddles around with them, scrubbing them and putting them back, forgetting their main reason of existence. Where’s the need for the ‘oh-look-how-clever-they-are’ delight as we come charging at the orchestra of ‘our’ bucket band being moved around? You bet we’re clever. Our hearing is fine. WATBID?

We’ve already gone on about how we stuck to Big Bro for so many weeks. Every waking moment. For the last few days, we had taken time off from Big Bro worship to check on Mom, Dad and Big Sis too. Raised Mom’s eyebrows. But we knew something was in the air. We knew even before the huge box on wheels was brought out of the storeroom. Mom noticed our changed behaviour and became more sentimental. But why did she make so much of it? We have inbuilt antennae. WATBID?

Of course we were going to move restlessly between plonking ourselves in the big box and on the lid to prevent it from closing. Of course the quieter one of us was going to withdraw to her temper corner, lying on Big Bro II’s shawl (Of Brothers and Sisters – part 2) for comfort. Of course the other one was going to sit in the passage on the way out with her back to Big Bro, refusing to turn and look when he called out (we understand ‘bye’). And of course we were going to be silent as if passed out, unaware of Mom Dad, when they returned late at night without Big Bro after dropping him off wherever. There is no need to pass comments on the sudden change in our behaviour at the end of Big Bro’s visit. WATBID?

And it follows that early the next morning, we were going to jump to lie at Mom’s feet, on her quilt. And squash ourselves on Dad’s pillow to be really close to him. No way was Dad going to chase us away and our hair out of his mouth at 5.30 a.m. That we would not even peep in the direction of Big Bro’s room at a time of the day we’d normally be burrowed in it. That we’d first trot to Mom having her tea, paw her, clamber on to her lap or press at her feet, sigh deeply 40 times in 4 minutes, and then spend the rest of the morning at a loose end, just hanging around. It follows quite naturally. WATBID?

And, WATBID if we want to practise social distancing with the Folks today; if we would rather snooze by ourselves dreaming of picnic lunches and napping wrapped in golden arms in golden winter sunlight; if we don’t want to bark when the doorbell rings; if we slyly sniff at a checked pyjama left behind on our bed (Of Brothers and Sisters – part 2); if we eat our meal desultorily (leaving untouched the corrupted morsels smelling funny)? Humans need not dissect our minds and actions, leaving us to ask our patent SRQ* – WATBID?

*Sarcastic Rhetorical Question